


Peace day never came, but I'm finally home

by yamaneko19xx



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: BBKaz Day 2016, BBKazDay2016, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nostalgia, Peace walker memories, PeaceDay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 13:17:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8103925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamaneko19xx/pseuds/yamaneko19xx
Summary: Kaz wasn’t looking at him anymore, his beautiful blue eyes were blurring with clumsy tears.And then he realized. Of course….Peace day never came.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SailorStarDust1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorStarDust1/gifts), [CoreBlooddrinker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreBlooddrinker/gifts).



> Honestly I'm crying, BBKaz is what got me hooked into MGS and will be always in my heart.  
> Now, a year after TPP's release I'm finally making peace with Big Boss again. TPP ending destroyed me... It still hurts and I've never imagined a ship could literally destroy my heart into pieces (thank you kojima). 
> 
> I told myself I would never write bbkaz because it hurt so much, it still hurts and for me they belong together no matter what. 
> 
> I won't spoil what this drabble is about but you probably figure it out. 
> 
> Happy peace day, let's remember BBKaz ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
> 
> I wrote this in a rush, forgive my grammar/spelling /other errors.

**Peace day never came, but I’m finally home.**

  
John didn’t remember why he was there, standing in the shore feeling the sand and the sea lightly brushing his bare feet.

The sun was going to set up in about half an hour and he still couldn’t remember how he got here. He didn’t even remember what day it was not what did he do before showing up here.

The sound of someone playing the guitar caught his attention. When he tilted his head to try and follow the sound, it wasn’t very hard not to see him.

 **Of course it had always been him,** and he never realized it.

  
Trying not to distract the musician he slowly made his way to the small beach camp, the blonde man playing a really beautiful but sad melody, but he stopped playing as soon as John placed a foot on his place.

  
“I didn’t want to distract you from playing.”

“Nah it’s fine. I was waiting for you actually.” The blonde smiled warmly as he left the guitar aside and gestured with his right hand for him to sit next to him.

John smiled and joined him. They remained silent for a couple of minutes, feeling the warm breeze beginning to turn colder as the sun was setting on the horizon. That was when he finally faced the man next to him, seeing his own reflection on the other’s aviator lenses… His own face (no wrinkles? No gray hair?) was young again, his two blue eyes shining… He didn’t want to see his reflection anymore, he wanted to see the blonde’s beautiful eyes again.

With a rather cautious movement he removed the blonde’s trademark aviators, revealing his eyes. His eyes looked reddish, tired.

“Kaz, have you been drinking? Or…”

“You don’t remember anything, don’t you?” Kaz patted his back and smiled again. As John made a confused face his friend continued. “Well… Maybe it’s better this way, huh? I used to play jokes with myself, telling myself that whenever I’d feel sad and upset…” He stopped for a moment and tried to go on “-when the whole world was against me… I’d always have this memory with me… when the only thing that mattered to me was…” Kaz smiled and chuckled bitterly, grabbing his guitar again.  
“Hey Boss, do you remember this song? Listen closely.”

John watched amazed how Kaz’s fingers danced through the guitar chords, that melody he thought he had long forgotten coming back to him once more, making him feel goosebumps. He probably thought it was because he was wearing a plain shirt and shorts.

Where was his uniform? All his memories were mixed up, confused. He felt young but too old, he should feel tired, jaded, instead he felt as if he had been reborn. But why did he feel so heartbroken? Wasn’t this all he wanted? At least for that moment when he was stripped out of his thirst of war and ambitions of building a powerful nation for soldiers to fight free… All those ambitions seemed like nothing compared to this moment, to be here and now, sitting on the beach watching the sunset, listening to his tune, to his voice…

Sighing, John leant his shoulder to touch Kaz’s and for a moment the blonde’s fingers slipped from the cords before resuming his playing.  
“I know I know, I’m terrible at singing.” He continued while he let himself go with the melody. John leaned his head into his friend’s shoulder and closed his eyes… Feeling so at peace.

  
_Peace day was coming_ , that’s why Kaz was playing that song. But he didn’t realize that Kaz had stopped playing and his hand was touching his hand, trying to wake him up.

“S-sorry I just closed my eyes for a moment” John moved his hand away feeling a little shy all of a sudden, but why?

“You must be tired, we should probably head back…” Kaz said but then his eyes fixed on the skyfall landscape. “We can stay here a little longer if you want, you’re the Boss huh?” He laughed and put his guitar away, now giving John his full attention.

“We should head back Kaz. Peace day is coming in… When exactly? I think I must have hit my head really bad on a mission because I don’t remember…” John didn’t want to worry his friend but this was something he had to tell him. Had it all been a dream? The Boss’s voice, Paz,... The explosion on Mother Base…. Waking up and seeing Ocelot at his side, his phantom… and Kaz… He wasn’t there, he didn’t remember if he ever saw him again… Wait he was called Hellmaster… And he hated him. He couldn’t blame him, John left him out in the first place… He didn’t want to continue thinking, it was all a horrible dream and he was now here with Kaz… The only one for him, how he missed him…

“Snake… There’s no rush really. No need to worry about Peace Day anymore.”

“Did I miss it? Damn I’m sorry I-”

“Wait. Wait Snake.” Kaz placed his hand over the older man’s hand and shyly held it, then his hold grew stronger as he sensed Snake didn’t have any intention of backing off.

Snake could tell that Kaz looked sad, he wanted to make it up for him somehow, but he was so confused… before he could say anything Kaz continued.

 

 

**“Boss… Peace day never came…”**

 

 

Kaz wasn’t looking at him anymore, his beautiful blue eyes were blurring with clumsy tears.

_And then he realized. Of course…._

_Peace day never came._

 

  
It was too late for them, huh? If this was a dream, John wanted to make the best of it. To tell Kaz what he was never able to tell him.

“Kaz…” Snake touched his friend’s face with his still calloused fingers until the blonde tilted his head and let it fell under his boss’ touch.

Without realizing it their faces were just inches away, John’s beard tickling on Kazuhira’s face, making him grin softly. “ **It was always you Kaz, you know?** ” And then he kissed him, not caring if his friend was expecting it or not. It didn’t matter really, he just wanted to kiss him and be with him.

His sometimes annoying and bossy, sometimes over emotional and cheerful Second in Command, Kazuhira Miller, his best friend, his brother, his… Well, why not accepting it already? After The Boss… No, not really they were two different people, they meant two different things for John. Both of them were the love of his life, The Boss was his mentor, his mother. Kaz was… Kaz was his partner, his friend and lover. (Yes, he did remember the date at the beach.)

Kaz passed his arms around him and kissed him, not like always but different, as if something was different, with passion but… When they parted Kaz touched his eyes and wiped his tears. “Sorry…”

Snake grabbed his waist with one hand and his chin with his other, making the blonde look into his eyes. “No, I should be the one to ask you for your forgiveness… I remember everything, if this is a dream then I don’t want to wake up and realize you are no longer at my side, that you hate me and that I left you alone all this time. What can I do to have you with me again?” Tears began running through his face, it was inevitable.

“I should apologize too… Instead of facing you I sent your son to kill you. So I think we’re even, heh Snake?” Kaz tried to smile but he couldn’t stop crying. “Since the moment I started following you… You remember, don’t you? That we’ll see things through till the end, together. You were always with me Boss, like a shadow… Even if all I wanted was to destroy you, that was all a lie. What I wanted was to have you back and tell me it was all gonna be ok, to go back to this, to our place, our moments… our future and dreams together...”

Snake kissed him again and this time the kiss was different, familiar and it warmed his broken soul. His desire was so strong that he softly pushed his partner on his back while kissing him and moved on top of him. “S-sorry, you can hit me if you want I deserve it.” Snake smirked and Kaz gave him a little punch on his ribs.

 

“I know I’ll probably wake up soon, what I want to know is if you still hold any grudge against me, I wish I could had handled things differently. I know I lost you Kaz, you won’t come back to me.” Snake’s voice was breaking, he never felt so weak in his life.

“No hard feelings Snake, I’ve forgiven you long ago. But there’s something you should know.” Kaz stood up and gestured his boss to do the same. “Fight with me one last time, and I’ll tell you what is this about. Come on Boss, like old times huh?”  
Kaz’s face brightened up and grinned while he waited in a defensive stance.

Snake chuckled. “Wanna have your ass beaten up one last time? It wasn’t what I had planned, I thought you were more romantic.” Snake brushed the sand from his light shirt and mimicked his partner’s fight stance.

“On the count of one… Two…” Kaz began to count but before he even said three he was charging against his boss, who of course was expecting him. They wrestled for some minutes until Kaz ended up hitting his back on the sand. It was expected though.

John trapped him again, moving on top of him and grabbed his wrists while they both laughed.

“Say your last words Boss” Kaz smirked and almost whispered as he relaxed his body under John’s grip.

But he never expected those last words.

“ _ **I’ve always loved you Kaz.**_ ” Snake said softly, watching how his partner’s eyes widened in surprise and his whole world seemed to be falling apart.

Kaz regained his composure and quickly gave him a headbutt, continuing the fight with him while they were now on their feet. At last Kaz hugged him strongly and cried his heart out.  
John returned his hug and relaxed as he rested his head on his partner’s shoulder, patting his back so he could stop crying so loudly.

“Kept you waiting, huh?” Snake whispered and kissed his neck while Kaz took a deep breath to try and calm himself.

“I’m used to waiting for you, though you did really keep me waiting.” Kaz touched Snake’s face while looking into his eyes. “You won’t leave me again, will you?”

“Uhm… I’m dreaming so I suppose I won’t be able to keep that promise…” John touched Kaz’s hand and then did something he never did before, he kissed his hand.

“You’re wrong.” Kaz said softly and took his partner’s face with his two hands. “Snake, your fight’s over.”

“What do you mean?”

 

“ **Your mission’s over Boss. You can rest now**.”

 

  
Right.

He remembered now… putting Zero to sleep… Saying goodbye to David, resting on his mentor’s grave stone waiting for his death… And his last goodbye had been to his long lost lover, Kazuhira Miller. He was not dreaming, he was dead and whatever waited for him in the afterlife was playing with him. True or fake, this was where he always wanted to return. To this place, with him, to watch him smile and joke, to kiss him again and hear him saying his name.

“Now you get it huh?” Kaz pressed his lips against his again, allowing John to kiss him back and press their bodies together, feeling they were still not close enough, too many unsaid words, unsaid feelings and a thousand ‘I’m sorry’ crossed Snake’s mind.

And he felt happy, safe, relieved and at peace.

 

*******************

 

It was already night, the stars were shining over the sea when Snake touched Kaz’s body, caressing him everywhere while he kissed him deeply, hearing him moan inside his mouth… but Kaz parted the kiss and blushed hard.

“W-wait, there’s something else you need to know.”

John waited, and for a moment his heart stopped beating. Probably this wasn’t so good after all.

Kaz passed his arms around his neck and whispered “ **I love you too, I always did and always will.** ” Before Snake could ever react to that he continued. “But everyone is waiting for you too.”

“What do you mean everyone?” Snake raised one eyebrow feeling confused.

“Everyone… Ocelot, Eva, … _Her_ ,... but will you keep them waiting for a little longer? Please? On peace day I want you for myself.” Kaz was not letting him go and clinged to him in a childish way, it made the older man chuckle.

“But you told me Peace day never came.”

“It doesn’t matter, this is my peace day, being with you here is all I need.”

“Then let’s make this our Peace day.”

Snake took Kaz’s hand and they both laid on the beach towel while they kissed. “Kaz this isn’t big enough we’ll end up covered in sand.”

Kaz laughed and replied while pulling him closer “it doesn't matter anymore, we have forever… You need to make it up for me.”

“It’ll be my pleasure. Today is your day after all, _ne Kazuhira_?” Snake kissed his neck and slowly pulled his shorts down while he watched his partner blush hard.

 

They had all the time in the world, finally. And there were no more regrets.

**Peace day never came, but John was finally home.**

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to SailorStarDust who was awesome enough to carry out the BBKazDay ! 
> 
> And to Coreblooddrinker for putting up with my rants and angsty moments when writing this xD 
> 
> And a BIG thank you to all who still support this ship.


End file.
